Psychopath Mark Metternich LIES again: this time, there are SW River Bends that have never been photographed before, according to him.

Mark Metternich SPEWS lies again.

Mark Metternich: a LIAR who takes self-portraits while holding $60,000 cameras he doesn't actually own.

Remember Mark Metternich? He’s a LIE-spewing psychopath who’s been featured here again and again. No wonder that he loves Marc Adamus and thinks Marc is the best photographer “that has ever been and ever will be”.

Anyway, his 2012 “workshop” schedule is out. You know, the way he actually makes his money (duh). Lots of LIES here. Mark Metternich is really stepping it up. Let’s have a brief look:

First, we have the “3 Bends in 3 Days”, where Mark Metternich spews:

“This truly grand tour will be geared for the more hearty photographer seeking a monumental and epic adventure with original imagery at very special and remote SW locations few have ever observed and no professionals have photographed. Long hikes (with gear) and a strong base level of fitness will be required. Due to the confidentiality of these precious places, please inquire for specifics. This tour will NOT disappoint.”

Apart from the laughable, excessive use of superlatives common to the uneducated and to liars, check out the lying. Who really thinks that a lying redneck like Mark Metternich knows secret river bends (goosenecks) that others aren’t aware of? It is a sad reflection on the public, by the way, that this, and most of his other tours, are full. There are many imbeciles out there. Here’s my line by line analysis:

Mark Metternich LIE	My analysis
This truly grand tour…	Uh, really? This coming from a redneck imbecile who would be a meth cooker in another life.
Few have ever observed	Uh, really? Are we all supposed to believe that Mark Metternich “knows” secret locations that “few have ever observed”?
…and no professionals have photographed.	Even without checking each and every bend on the Colorado River or its tributaries, this is an obvious, and odious lie. Are we really supposed to believe this crap?
. Long hikes (with gear) and a strong base level of fitness will be required	Whatever
Due to the confidentiality of these precious places, please inquire for specifics	It must be a real burden for Mark Metternich to know all these “secret, precious places”.

Let’s move on to the “4 Bends in 4 Days”. Quoted spew:

“This truly grand tour will be geared for the more hearty photographer seeking a monumental and epic adventure with original imagery at very special and remote SW locations few have ever observed and no professionals have photographed. Moderately long hikes (with gear) and a moderately strong base level of fitness will be required. Due to the confidentiality of these precious places, please inquire for specifics. This tour will NOT disappoint!!!”

There’s really no more I can analyze here, since it’s the same spew from the “3 Bends in 3 Days” tour.
I wanted to get the really odious stuff out of the way first, so let me move on to the merely ignorant stuff. How about his “The Pearls of Oregon – Fall” group tour? Let’s take a look at the spew:

“This colossal 6 day (small group) tour will crisscross Oregon like a grid chasing “Wild Light” to the most scenic areas the diversity of Oregon has to offer. World class locations such as Crater Lake, the Painted Hills, Sparks Lake, the Columbia River Gorge, Bandon Beach, Cape Kiwanda, Mt Hood and others will be photographed in all their fall splendor! A moderate level of fitness will be required. Some tenting will be done but with the balance of an occasional hotel stay.”

WOW! Here’s my analysis:

Mark Metternich LIE	My analysis
This colossal 6 day (small group) tour will crisscross Oregon like a grid chasing “Wild Light”	Oh, OK, I get it now. You need to crisscross Oregon “like a grid” to chase that “Wild Light” that Mark Metternich is so fond of. Then at night, you can squat in your tent and apply all those “Wild Light” Photoshop Camera Raw tricks to bring out the colors that were there to begin with, but just needed some tweaking (laughter).
World class locations such as Crater Lake, the Painted Hills, Sparks Lake, the Columbia River Gorge, Bandon Beach, Cape Kiwanda, Mt Hood and others	Are we seeing a pattern here? Yep. All locations Marc Adamus has been to. How convenient.
will be photographed in all their fall splendor!	HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! There isn’t a single colored leaf in the entire state this early in September. The idiots who ordered this workshop are in for what I like to call a RUDE SURPRISE. What do you expect from a lying redneck? But I digress.
A moderate level of fitness will be required	Blah blah
Some tenting will be done but with the balance of an occasional hotel stay.”	Well, the “tenting” will let LOSERS pretend to be real Outdoorsmen, and the hotel stays will let them charge the laptops and feverishly tweak their Adobe Camera Raw tricks.

What more do you want me to say? This lying redneck (according to another astute observation I saw on the 'net) imbecile indicts himself with his non-stop lying. I’d like to keep writing about his lie-filled website, but I’m afraid I’d run out of pen and paper (or electrons). However, Mark Metternich will continue to be featured here as a prime example of the sort of FRAUD and LIES the photography industry has been afflicted with.